forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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