I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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