Christians are straight up FREAKS
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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