Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
