Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
