:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
