I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I need a beard to bite.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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