I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
