Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
