i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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