Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
