oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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