idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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