so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
