I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
