I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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