you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
