Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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