She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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