broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
OPIZZABONMYDICK
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
