your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
