Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
