I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
