He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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