I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
