SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize