What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
