I've blown a few things in my day
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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