ADVERTISEMENT

• (305): View more from Florida

  your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise

  Fav 5 1365 988

  share tweet
  

• (626): View more from California

  Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.

  Fav 16 4667 1053

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (985): View more from Louisiana

  I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea

  Fav 9 1240 3251

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

  Fav 12 2010 6360

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"

  Fav 21 1499 5487

  share tweet
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you

  Fav 21 3203 1664

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.

  Fav 5 2827 1178

  share tweet
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

  Fav 2 1231 910

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

  Fav 4 1438 1131

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?

  Fav 3 1253 481

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home

  Fav 1 585 371

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"

  Fav 4 416 655

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds

  Fav 0 44 8

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am

  Fav 0 13 20

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (078): View more from

  The hump and dump is a beautiful thing

  Fav 0 31 36

  share tweet
  

Randomize