glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
