Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
