also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
