i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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