i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
