So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
