hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
