I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
