so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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