Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
