My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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