i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
