my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
