i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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