oh god the rape fog is back!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
