she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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