I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
