Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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