Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
