as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This baby is an asshole
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
