I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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