There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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